Introduction Cait and Self


Hellooooooooo Campers

by Cait and Self


"What?", Cait said exasperated,  not only at Self's tone but at her idiocy.  She didn't have time to cater to every whim and fancy that came into Self's feeble minded head.  She had to get ready for the Campers.  She had to prepare all the activities, and assign all the campers to tents and, oh so many things that Self always left for Cait to do.  Oh sure Self likes to think she's the smart one, but she isn't.  She's stupid.  And lazy.  Everyone knows that.



Self marched into the supply room for Camp Shattered Corpse, and shouted even louder [if that's even possible].  "CAIT.  When I talk to you--answer me.  You have to answer me.  You always ignore me, and then you get yourself into trouble. All because you won't listen.  Then I have to bail you out and you make me look bad.  So from now on LISTEN.

"Or what?" mocked Cait.  You gonna leave?  You gonna run away from Camp and join the circus?  Who would have you?  You can't even wipe your ass without me.  

"You're gonna be sorry if you don't listen to me right now!"

"Oh really" Cait said as she rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at Self.

"Yes really.  What could be so damn important to drop what I'm doing, and walk over to find out what bug is up your ass?  A bug you're probably gonna blame on me.  Go on.  Go on.  What could be so damn important?"

"The campers are here early."

"Now!!!  You mean NOW!!!  But.. but.. BUT we aren't ready for them."

Cait broke down and began to pull her hair out by the handfuls.  She dropped to the ground and vomited her guts out, sobbing "But I'm not ready.  I have things to do.  I'm not ready yet."

Self laughed a blood curdling laugh and said, "Well then it's a good thing I was kidding."  

"You better run fast Self.  You better run and hide.  I'm gonna kill you.  REALLY kill you this time.  That was mean.  You are the mean one.  You know that.  I know that.  But you've coinvinced everyone that I'm the mean one.  I hate you.  You hear me?  I hate you.?"

"Well, while you busy screaming and yelling, you'd better get ready, because they'll be here shortly.  Carry on Cait. Carry on.  Be careful of that vomit on the ground.  It looks slippery, and I'm sure it stinks.  I wouldn't want you to slip and fall--much."

Self dashed off [to avoid dying yet again.  Cait was always killing her off.  Actually Self had no idea how she always came back to life, but it was always fun to scare Cait when she did.]

Cait heard Self whispering under her breath "Cait's so easy.  Almost too easy.  I hope these campers are a challenge.  I'll bet I can get them all to scream and beg to go home.  Maybe even kill each other off. Or at least be scared to death--literally.  Well maybe, if Cait doesn't put her foot down ---- on my throat, I can have some fun this year."

They both heard the bus arrive with all the campers for the Halloween camp session.  Everyone went to summer camp.  Only a few "special" people were allowed to come to Camp Shattered Corpse at Halloween.  They never knew how campers where chosen, but every year it was a very strange bunch.  Weird in fact.

"Welcome Campers," Cait said.  "Welcome to Shattered Corpse.  You'll find your cabins to the right.  Settle in and then meet in the main dining room in an hour for some lunch.  Don't be late.  There are demerrits if you are late.  And we have a campfire to prepare for where we'll all introduce ourselves and become the best of friends."

"What's a demmerit? a camper asked.

But before Cait could answer, Self piped in and said, "you don't really want to know.  Just don't get one if you want to be safe."

The campers mumbled among themselves "Safe???"  "Do we need to worry about being Safe?" "I wanna go home." "I hate it here."  "Hey those two are babes".  All random comments neither Cait or Self could put to any camper in particular.  But, then it was normal to hear these remarks.  Common in fact.  At first anyway.  Things usually get quiet here real fast, especially after the first campfire.

"Calm down.  Don't listen to Self.  She has no authority around here.  I just can't leave her alone at home, so she has to come along.  Pay no attention to her.  She doesn't know what she's talking about.

So, settle in, and then we'll all talk.  There is a campfire at dusk, and things will be spelled out then.  

It was the same every year.  Cait and Self introduced themselves, Self made a fool of herself.  The campers were nervous, then afraid, then they either joined in the fun in a Shattered Corpse kind of way, or they left.  Where they went once they left, Cait never knew, nor was it any of her business.  Her job was to get ready for the campers.  After that.. well after that, who knows?

A fine lunch was had by everyone, Self only had to be flogged once.  That was a good day for Self.  The campers were ready and excited about the campfire, and waited until dusk before gathering in the clearing.  Cait began a roaring fire, checked the logs for the fire and the giant logs for everyone to sit on, then called the others to introduce him or herself to the campers.

"Camper, Campers.  Settle down.  SETTLE DOWN.  Our first introduction is Raven.  Raven come on up and share your story with the campers."

Rae took her place by the fire and let the light frame her face.  She smiled a knowing smile as the sun went down and the campers went quiet.

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